Martha Stewart Will Definitely Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

I have always been a big fan of Martha Stewart.  I know, sometimes she does stuff like gluing moss on lampshades which causes you to wonder if she ever uses that lamp and why it doesn’t catch fire, and rolling grapes in goose liver pate sounds like it won’t be on my bucket list, but let’s put those things aside for a moment and talk about how Martha is better prepared than just about anyone to survive the Zombie Apocalypse. And it’s not just because she’s rich.

Please note that, as always, I use the Zombie Apocalypse as a metaphor for any type of civil unrest, long-term disaster in which the unprepared are going to want what you’ve carefully stored, and events during which people eagerly await the government’s handouts to rescue them from their Darwinian fates.

But, let’s talk about Martha. I’ve always seen her as a mentor,


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